I don´t regret a lot.
I don´t like the scars all over my body.
But that is something I deserved.
That is something I still deserve. But it doesn´t make things better.
What I´m really asking for is forgiveness.
Maybe I´m the one who blames me the most and maybe there are other reasons but my failure.
And thus I might be the only one who has to forgive.
But I can´t.
I can never forgive what I´ve done.
I´ve lost so much time being depressed and helpless.

I loved them so much but I wasn´t able to show.
I´ve lost time, so much time, because I forgot that they would die.
That everyone would die.

And now I´m wishing that I could die.
That I could forget the pain.
And the guilt.

But I mustn´t.
I have to fight for a person I don´t even like, a person I hate.
I have to fight for a life I don´t like.
I have to fight for me.
And sometimes I wish I could just give up.
Just let go.

And say good-bye to everyone I´ve hurt, whose dreams and lives I have destroyed, and whose hopes I have let down.

I´m not worth anything.
And theres no-one out there who likes to read something like this.

I´m sorry for wasting your time.

Have a nice life.